Market Satire Aficionados Pillows

'You've got hopelessness and despair until 3:25, at which time your survival instincts are scheduled to kick in.'

"...No it does state here quite clearly...the right to bear arms...not arm bears."

"When we changed the company name, the stocks went through the roof!"

'I wonder how the economy is doing.'

In my day, they didn

"Today the market closed at exactly the right price, and all buyers and sellers were very happy."

'Stock Market re-entry now safe. . . City analysts say.'

'Amy, cancel all my appointments. I have enough money.'

'In future a reg number will suffice, ok.'

'This drug treats 'stock market jitters' but a side effect is 'irrational exuberance'.'

'He's chasing the market.'

"Oh, you don't need to fight them—you just need to convince the pitchfork people that the torch people want to take away their pitchforks."

'Darn, all these coupons are expired. We could have saved 50 cents on 9 cans of dog food.' 'We don't have a dog.'

"I know I say it in every episode, Carson, but the world is changing and we have to change with it."

'Sorry, lad, but I lost all me gold during the recession. All I can give ya is a buck thirty in change!'

"Owww!! Yes, that hurts!"

"Hey, that's what everyone thinks about the strategic planning department! I've got a crystal ball and we all study the occult! Hah Hah Hah!..."

The City of Eden…in Fact - Martin Outside the 'Office' of Chuzzlewit & Co

the company is cutting back our team's training budget.'

Type that up, make ten million copies and then shred them.

'C'mon the one with the frilly knickers!'

"Today, the value of the Chinese Yuan dropped in relation to the chopstick, the egg roll and the fortune cookie."

Foreclosure

Estate agents lined up for sale during house-price slump.

'I won't say you're fired. Let's just say maintaining your employment status is not consistent with our long-term institutional objectives.'

'If things were going just a little better we could have filed for bankruptcy.'

'The 12 Habits of People Just Barely Holding Their Own.'

Covid Plaster

"I wonder if we could allow women a greater role in religion other than as sacrifices?"

Commodities Exchange. Metals. Tin Items or Less.

'We're not allowed to employ bankers anymore.'

Get rich today with cold fusion tomorrow! Invest now!: 'More like con - fusion! He's a con artist!'

'Express Line, Ten sins or less'

'I was a Government bureaucrat, and I showed initiative.'

"... So, let me get this straight. You're telling me that your school is downsizing and they had to make you redundant?"