Market Misfortune Navigator T-Shirts

'I know I'm a small investor. What makes me mad is that when I started with you I was a large investor."

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

'All those in doubt, raise your eyebrows.'

'Crisis'

'You can't fire me! I'm too big to fail!'

Made in China.

"Phew! I'm glad this part of the ride is over..."

Clair regretted having her husband sit in while her doctor described possible side effects of menopause.

"Your job will be to make these results look Stellar."

Develop Your Social Skills: Asking Questions is a Great Way to Keep a Conversation Going.

"Whisky? Have you got anything stronger?"

Elevator buttons read: Way Up/up/Down/Way Down.

'I'm tired of all the small talk.'

"It's perfectly all right. I used to do the same sort of thing when I was a little boy."

"I told you it was too soon to give him The Talk."

Ben Bernanke says no recession yet.

'Wilcox! Do come in...I'm just leaving!'

"Will thou not sayest 'Uncle'?"

But enough about me, let's talk about my job.

'And their financial E.K.G. shows that they are in excellent health.'

'Do you want someone to help you or do you just want someone to hold your hand?'

'I'm starting to wonder if all my 'Account Executive' got on her broker's exam was nail polish.'

"The kids got candy and all I got were disturbed looks."

Road signs.

'It's time for your crisis.'

'I assumed this is where the market headed south, but GPS says 'southeast'.'

Kid on the way to pricipal's office see a girl in the hall with a stand setup to give legal advice.

"I know this is all nonsense , but that's the paradigm I'm stuck with."

'Make sure there's still a sucker born ever minute before we launch our new IPO.'

Stock Performance

"I'm sorry, that didn't come out right."

"It's been a wonderful evening, Fred -- Please don't spoil it by making me squirt you with pepper spray."