Market Drama Follower T-Shirts

'You're watching the stock market wayyy too closely.'

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

'Actually, they're a hybrid. They are a blue-chip, common stock.'

'Just this once, but I want a piece of the action.'

"You're not the 'Yes Man' you used to be, Smilby."

'Miss Roberts, turn off the video camera!'

'He's known for his pessimistic prognostications on the stock market.'

The Apprentice: Recession Special.

"It was a typical 'His lawyer said/Her lawyer said' situation."

"Will the current economic trend end in a whimper or a bang? For answers, let's turn to tonight's guests!"

Greece - Euro

"I don't have a set price. I charge what the market will bear."

Rest Rooms: Bulls and Bears

'It;s Medieval Times Week here at the courthouse, so I'm afraid that instead of getting probation, you'll be drawn and quartered.'

'Requisition a bigger chart.'

Customer to broker: 'Before I invest with you, I have to check your credibility ... how many ulcers have you had?'

Dirty Deeds

'Charles, I want you to meet Joel. You have lots in common. He also thinks he knows how to time the market.'

'Adam Smith Institute? Just follow the invisible hand and it'll lead you to where you need to go.'

"I'm not superstitious, but the internet connection broke down and the computer crashed just when I wanted to buy technology stocks..."

'Security, sir. Did you call on some deities?'

Let the match begin

"Frank here used to teach high school physiology, so if you value your Zygomatic arch or your Alveolar margins, you'll start talking."

'Damp? The bath's got a ring round its OUTSIDE!'

'I put gas in the car...How can we make ends meet when one of them is in Saudi Arabia?'

"Apparently, if he sees his shadow it's another six weeks of a bear market."

'The Dow is down? How about on the west coast?'

'At least I leave with the knowledge I did it all my way.'

"Don't worry, I won't jump. I just came out here to smoke a big smelly cigar."

"And as you can see, my beautiful assistant has disappeared...months ago...with my brother."

"Have you met my rival Grunzberger? He has taken my wife, my house and my car, but I'll make him sorry if he tries to steal my customers!"

"If I hadn't listened to my broker I'd have missed a wonderful opportunity to lose everything."

'You have entered the wrong password. Please hold while we transfer you to klutz support.'