Maritime Storyteller T-Shirts

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

Naval Veterans Drinking at Greenwich Pub

'THINGMY ON THE PORT BOW!! You know, what's it called? Long and pointy... Very fast... TORPEDO ON THE PORT BOW!!'

Confessions of a Lighthouse Keeper.

"My new book will be an epic novel of the sea."

Illustration for 'A Wrinkle for the Coastguard'.

'Well, here we are... stranded on a cliché.'

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

The one that got away

'Are we there yet?'

Fishing with God

'I wonder why scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats.'

"As I was only saying the other day..."

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

'Son, I told you before: If you circle your prey for too long, you get dizzy...'

'Look Reg, a ship...we're saved!'

Frontispiece to 'Dombey and Son'

Scuba: 'You call that a knot, now this is a knot.'

"Call me, Ishmael."

'It was this big. I swear'

Octopus Puppet Show (colour)

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

Two Men Angler's In A Storm.

"He's a keeper!"

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

'I win!'

Angler poses with mermaid catch.

'It's grossed over a billion dollars. Let's go see the Titanic wreck.'

Sea Horse outside saloon

'I've told you time and again, if you didn't east so fast, you wouldn't swallow so much flotsam.'

'To think we used to complain about a little flotsam and jetsam.'

"Have ye seen a whale that matches this swatch?"

'Lucas A Non Lucendo.'