Maritime Security T-Shirts

"International trade"

'Ramming speed sailor.'

The Anti-Agent

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

UK border controls relaxed.

High security Santa's grotto

When laundry ruled the waves.

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

"He's a guard dog."

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

"As I was only saying the other day..."

"I see you've security marked your property."

'If we get out of this alive, I'm going to have a darn good look at your resume.'

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

The Scanner Of Love.

"On a positive note, he's not our boss. He's the guy who stole our boss's identity."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

Sea weed harvest.

Moulin Rouge Security

''Junk Yard Dog' just sounds so much cooler.'

Death to the Extremists

"Beware of Don"

Scarecrows guarding a field

A Little Extra

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go, Richter. The crime rate has dropped.'

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."