Marital Problem Discussion Pillows

'What's happened to the romance in our marriage, John?'

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

"We don't have sex any more, we argue about money and you hate my mother. We should be married."

"Are you crazy? I can’t tell her that!"

"When you look at me, Alice, what do you see?"

He leaves, but soon realizes his roots run too deep.

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

'I want to start by having you take separate staycations.'

Wanna talk about it?

'I told my wife she had to choose between me and that precious boat of her's. She called my bluff. Can I sleep on your couch?'

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

"This merger is not producing the expected synergies."

"No, no - that's not the company sales, that's my marriage."

'Typical bloody man, you've no idea what loyalty means...it's just self, self...self!'

"We're only staying together for the sake of our marriage guidance counsellor."

MARRIAGE COUNSELOR, 'Our biological clocks are in different time zones.'

"You'll hear from my lawyer."

'Will I still be married?'

'The wife says if I don't give up snooker, she's leaving me. . .I'm going to miss her.'

'You're docile enough alright, but I don't like how you grind your teeth while you sleep!'

"Oh c'mon, Phil. Everyone knows we only stay together for the giant tortoise."

'I get the feeling lately that some of the magic has gone out of our relationship.'

Pastor to couple: 'It is more blessed to forgive than to receive.'

"We were so happy doc. . . but then she changed!"

"Can I call you back, I'm engaged in crisis talks."

"I liked it better when we just had your people call my people."

'He's not the man I married. In fact, none of them are.'

Diplomacy

"We both need to get away and unsidewind awhile."

'As your solicitor I must ask you to consider divorce an option of last resort. We could mount a drone strike against your husband at a fraction of the cost.'

"When did you first notice your wife was missing?"

"I'm used to him finishing my sentences, but now he starts them, too."