Marital Historian Gifts

"That's no death grimace, Perkins. I think what we're seeing is a 2.8 million-year-old tight smile of spousal event obligation!"

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'

Several generations live together in Cuba

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

Family DNA

'We were thinking of naming him after his daddy, but I don't really like the name, Old slap head.'

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

Letter Collecting Nerd

'Ha! Ha! The Wooin' O't!'

"Why mum, I didn't know that you had written a book."

'The big feet come from your side of the family.'

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

'That's a picture of my granddad with shoulder length hair and a beard. That's why mom calls these albums hair looms.'

'The suspense is killing us. Which one is our grandchild?'

Changes at home

Estate Sale! All the stuff my kids said they don't want to inherit.

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

It's my biggest project - a database of all my sister's boyfriends.

'Well, isn't this nice? Three generations all sitting down together.'

"Meeting old relatives...is like peeking into our future."

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

"That's my dad back when he was, like, militarized."

"I had a great weekend... My Grandpa talked about the war again and my Dad about his most daring facebook comments!"

Are your parents here? Spring play! I can't tell.

"I often consult with a higher authority... my grandmother."

"This family seems to multiply every year."

Romans.

"This was probably an early Father's Day gift."

Send us $2.00, and we'll send you Your Family Tree

"If I have to turn this wagon around ... !"

"New money, Bobby, is old money that got away."

"My Aunt Agatha – feminist, civil rights activist, philanthropist, sound engineer for 'Cheap Trick at Budokan.'"

'He's a conspiracy theorist - he refuses to believe that Great Aunt Mildred is really dead.'

"I'm taking detailed notes of everything, so I can tell my kids what things were really like when I was their age."