Marital Diplomat Pillows

'Do you promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, except if your wife asks if she looks fat?'

"Of course I'm sorry for whatever it is I'm supposed to have done."

Mixed marriage: food fight

'Maybe your wife doesn't understand you because you're always drunk.'

'One of the problems here is that you don't let your husband finish a sentence. . .'

The Manager's Wife.

Frank Hires a Relationship Coach.

'Three things I don't think we should talk about ... politics, religion, and everything else!'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

"I need to see your budget proposal."

"We can waste time and look for a solution or...just find a scapegoat?"

Inclusive speech

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

'You really want that promotion, don't you, Sherman?'

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

"It looks like the 'because I say so' has it."

Career Choices

'Here's another one that'll make you blow your stack.'

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

'Would you be interested in attending a stress management seminar?'

"This happens everytime someone asks to speak to the head of the household."

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

HR - Helping Relationships

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."