Marital Chessmaster Pillows

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

Cheers For The Hollyhock Middle School Chess Team

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

'As meetings go that was one of my better ones!'

'Upgrades? Yes, we've programmed it to excrete a few drops of water if it should lose a chess match. You know - tears.'

'Some people just aren't cut out for adventure gaming, Bruno — maybe you should try chess or checkers.'

'I think they're up to something.'

'Checkmate I think!'

"It's nothing, go back to sleep. I was just getting a DNA sample."

Peer-reviewed journal publication.

'Well, I'll say this: when the new boss came on board, it was a real game-changer for all of us!'

Existential Risk

'I bet you could walk down the aisle blindfolded now,eh,Gloria?'

AIDS prevention

"You never seem to hear a word I say to you!"

"My wife and I have a love-mate relationship."

'Do you want to be red Tory or blue Labour?'

'With your permission sir... checkmate.'

"Once inside, the pawns will jump out and take them by surprise."

Chess on TV

'I'll have to let you go, Bob - Ted, from accounting, is challenging my position as alpha male!'

'When you said we were going clubbing, I didn't know you meant History Club, Chess Club and Math Club.'

'Almost done.'

'I'm not here to blame. I'm here to help others blame.'

"I'm leaving you. I would have told you earlier but the time just never seemed right."

"Love the exposed chessboard."

"How do you expect to learn to be a good loser when you win all the time?"

"Our marriage has been experiencing a spot of turbulence lately."

"Jyoti, Jyoti, Jyoti… Power is a dangerous thing. Leave it to me."

"He called it a 'retreat,' but it looked more like a SCAMPER to me."

On the Eve of his epic defeat by 'Deep Blue', Garry Kasparove awoke to an ominous warning,

'Your turn.'

Deal-Maker Trump

"In this latest reorganization, each department is assigned a graphic icon. So, to understand your new place in the hierarchy, just remember that paper covers rock, rock crushes scissors, and scissors cut paper!"

WWE Chess