Manners Maestro Gifts

She's been teaching too long!

'Say please...'

'Shake'

"The Wi-Fi password is 'Don't call me sweetie.'"

"You're in New York City now. You gotta lose the southern hospitality if you truly want to fit in."

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

I notice you open the car door for your wife!

'This end up please.'

'That's a tidy one.'

"Unbelievable! This guy slams the breaks, runs through the field, urinates on our tree, runs back to his car and speeds off! How rude!"

"You'd think that manager's wife would order him not to chew with his mouth open!"

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

"Oh, sorry - Open Sesame, PLEASE."

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

'Try and be pleasant dear, you don't want to alienate it.'

'Gesundheit.'

'Excuse me Ma'am, do you mind if I smoke?'

"Nice talking to you too, even if you are a recorded message."

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

'Timmy, stop being naughty: Don't sit up straight!'

'Timothy-Rex! Stop playing with the food!'

'I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid that's inappropriate.'

'I'm sorry, he likes to let off wind after dinner.'

Greeting card section: 'thank you' and 'you're welcome'.

Computer Music

'Dear Miss Etiquette, I'm never sure if I should say anything...'

"Remember, I want to hear fifteen solid minutes of small talk before you ask for the Wi-Fi password."

". . . and wipe your feet before you go inside."

"Gesundheit!"

'Honey, we don't stare.'

'Say, please.'

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

'Apart from the pain I can't get my hat off.'