Manners Guru T-Shirts

'Excuse me Ma'am, do you mind if I smoke?'

Careful

"Excuse me - I'm trying to have private conversation here!"

Checkout signs identify unhygienic handling habit.

'What's the difference between overhearing a conversation and eavesdropping?'

'It's no use sulking, I only criticised the way you hold your knife and fork...'

"Hey, you can't cut in line like that! - Who do you think you are?"

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"Oh, sorry - Open Sesame, PLEASE."

'Try and be pleasant dear, you don't want to alienate it.'

'Gesundheit.'

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

"Nice talking to you too, even if you are a recorded message."

'Timmy, stop being naughty: Don't sit up straight!'

'Timothy-Rex! Stop playing with the food!'

'I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid that's inappropriate.'

'Dear Miss Etiquette, I'm never sure if I should say anything...'

'I'm sorry, he likes to let off wind after dinner.'

"Remember, I want to hear fifteen solid minutes of small talk before you ask for the Wi-Fi password."

Greeting card section: 'thank you' and 'you're welcome'.

". . . and wipe your feet before you go inside."

'Apart from the pain I can't get my hat off.'

"China Ministry of State Security Royal Infiltration Training Unit"

'Say, please.'

"Fetch! What about a please?"

"This is Jim's second speech on how not to make people mad by talking on your phone. I missed his first speech."

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

Politeness opens doors

"Gesundheit!"

'Honey, we don't stare.'

'A listener from Ridgeway asks, 'When visiting a friend, is it improper to drink out of the toilet unless asked first?' Good question...'