Mannerism Enthusiast Pillows

"What did I tell you about your elbows on the table?"

I don't have any awesome mannerisms. I saw it on Cracked's Youtube channel. Jimmy Fallon always punctuates his jokes with gibberish. Harrison Ford always points at people he's talking to. Kristen Stewart always bites her lower lip. Jennifer Aniston clears her throat all the time. I've always thought she should get that checked. John Cusack is always getting rained on. Not sure that's a mannerism. How is my public supposed to do funny impersonations of me if I don't have any subtle but distinguis

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

"They took my pellets, man, I been hitting' that lever al day, they took my PELLETS!"

'Is there anyway that I could specialize in corporate law and still be one of the good guys.'

Civil war, "You shoot first old boy. No, no I won't hear of it"

"Grace and polish, all bundled up together in one man?"

Parson wishing to seem as though he is not drinking

I think it's polite to turn off your cell phone on a date. Oh, I agree. That's actually the sound of my ankle monitor.

I'm BAD deal with it

Bluebird of Happiness/Pucebird of Malaise

I feel happy

"I am wearing the new bikini you saw...unfortunately, my father saw it too, and made me wear this over it!"

"Oh—pardon the expletive—damn!"

'Just because you happen to turn into a wolf during a full moon, dear, doesn't mean you have to act like one!'

"Pushing buttons with anything other than your index finger is an affectation."

Red Whine

The Grumpometer.

'No need to be concerned. After 30 years I'm finally emerging from this cocoon.'

Drunk man thrown out of bar

'Steve is our top salesperson. His secret is spending time visualizing success before he comes to work.'

'Wall hugging won't get you past me without a 'Good morning', Carson.'

"This seat is reserved for the rest of my legs."

'Get your hands out of your pocket!'

'My degree is in the Social Sciences, yet I'm a klutz and don't know one fork from another!'

Taekwon DOHHEAD: 'Grrrrr!'

Road Signs to Come. . .

Etiquette and the mobile phone - "Oh hi. I'm on a training course."

'No, I didn't attend the stakeholders meeting because, being a vegan, I refuse to even look at meat.'

"Sorry, Lady, I don't speak boomer."

'Good grief, you were right, dear, they have all died.'

"Can you read my thoughts?"

"No, no, no! It's one thing to throw your own faeces, but you're not allowed to throw anyone else's!"

"Now imagine back when Hansel and Gretel first saw this house and this whole area was still creepy woodland."

"Thank you, have a relatively wonderful day!"