Manifesting Pillows

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

'Don't feel bad — all tree huggers get a splinter now and then.'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

The Government's Got Your Back. And Wants Your Front As Well.

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

"I brought cocoa."

Save the whales. . . Save the pandas. . . Save the planet.

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

"I'm working on more of a 'personal' mythology."

How's my sermon. . .

The Day Dreamer.

"Thank you. It wasn't too 'preachy', was it?"

"Remember that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

...As we know, Jesus was a carpenter... but I don't think he actually sang on any of their records..."

Je Suis Charlie

S**t Threw a Goose

"Having completed the formation of the earth, on the seventh day the Lord rested. Then, on the eighth day, the Lord said, 'Let there be problems.' And there were problems."

'Man, I'm bombing,'

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

"The wages of sin are ... pretty damn attractive."

'I'd like to attract them with dynamic preaching, but I'm not above luring them with sugar.'

Love for the family

"Look, someone tattooed that building!"

Quiet Quitting

The end is near - well, at least for the sandwich board guy.

"What should we do today? Swim against the tide or go with the flow?"

"Oh! I thought that was our party manifesto..."

"You can eat all the cake you want and still get into heaven."

Election UK Leaders' Big Debate.

'In compliance with Federal full-disclosure laws, I'm required to tell you that I'm really not all that sure about some of this stuff.'