Manicure Maestro Mugs

'Let's go, let's go! Get back on the track!'

'We're cutting staff - I'll keep your details on our file.'

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'Sure I'm late. . . I not only have to get ready for school. . . now I have to get ready in case some idiot takes my picture for YouTube.'

"I guess someone got up on the wrong side of the podium today."

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

Kirsten Johnson

Your Guide to Winning Movember

"If I knew when this was going to end, it wouldn't be so stressful."

Hair Traffic control.

'Are you done yet?'

New Fads For The Handlebar Mustache

Computer Music

Two men discussing thier moustaches

Pollsters

'If you increase the magnification another million times you can see the safety regulations.'

'The idea of an artists' retreat is to get AWAY from business concerns, Mr. Harlow.'

'Mess with me if you have to, son, but not with the regimental moustache!'

"Some 'King'. They didn't even give me an N95."

The Cartoonist's armoury

'They could use a great camouflage expert like you in the army, Mom.'

ACCOUNTANT-IN-RESIDENCE: "John, we're going to have to cut back on the cadmiums."

'I will now play a selection of digital audio files I downloaded today.'

'With all these new surveillance cameras around town, I'm not going anywhere without full-make-up.'

Fifty ways to style your nasal hair.

How to wear a false moustache.

"I have the smokey eyes look. Can the doctor still give me an eye exam?"

'That brush - how many dpi?'

Book and magician

"Taxi's waiting."

Other men just sing in the bath

Roberto Mancini

Husband concerned about being late whilst wife has plastic surgery.

'Nothing to do? Why don't you read the refrigerator.'

"Admit it ... you were hexting while driving again."