Managing A Financial Crisis Pillows

"Bill hot water 100000" "SOS!"

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

'I see everyone got the memo.'

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

Paper Profits Break Glass In Case of Emergency.

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

City Redundancies - In? Out?

Occupy Budget Balancing

Workers are running out of one door labeled 'Reactive Business Intelligence,' while another worker in the next room sits calmly behind a door with a sign that reads, 'Proactive Business Intelligence.'

"I wanted to always play it down. I still like playing it down because I don’t want to create a panic."

"I'm an expert in crisis management, I've got three daughters!"

The company's going bankrupt,you'll need to get someone in to bite my nails for me!

The inevitable conflict of interest facing every crisis manager.

Save the world together

'Our nest egg finally got rotten.'

'Yes, I am positive we'll make a loss this quarter.'

Emergency Firebreaker

More Money for Greece.

"Your job will be to make these results look Stellar."

"My God, now what?"

"Actually, this is where there was a slight earth tremor."

"Has our apologist been alerted?"

"Is there a spin doctor in the house?"

"Until we know more about the nature of the threat, we should stay calm and wash out hands to keep it from spreading."

"Well, the first reactions to the terrible truth are anger and sadness, but now it's time to act like men!"

"Get me someone in Apologies, someone in Walkbacks, and send up the whole Scapegoating team."

"Our marketing budget has become a black hole."

'I re-invested what was left of my 401K into returnable pop cans. I figure by the time I retire I should have about three dollars.'

Coronavirus and Atlas

'Our 401(k) is now a 201(k).'

It wasn't easy, but we finally plugged the hole.

'What a great day! I spent the morning burning bridges and the afternoon putting out fires!'

Life on Earth - Why bother?