Managing A Financial Crisis Pillows

"Bill hot water 100000" "SOS!"

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

'I see everyone got the memo.'

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

Paper Profits Break Glass In Case of Emergency.

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

City Redundancies - In? Out?

Workers are running out of one door labeled 'Reactive Business Intelligence,' while another worker in the next room sits calmly behind a door with a sign that reads, 'Proactive Business Intelligence.'

"I'm an expert in crisis management, I've got three daughters!"

"I wanted to always play it down. I still like playing it down because I don’t want to create a panic."

The inevitable conflict of interest facing every crisis manager.

Save the world together

The company's going bankrupt,you'll need to get someone in to bite my nails for me!

Emergency Firebreaker

"My God, now what?"

"Has our apologist been alerted?"

"Is there a spin doctor in the house?"

"Your job will be to make these results look Stellar."

"Actually, this is where there was a slight earth tremor."

More Money for Greece.

"Well, the first reactions to the terrible truth are anger and sadness, but now it's time to act like men!"

"Get me someone in Apologies, someone in Walkbacks, and send up the whole Scapegoating team."

'Our nest egg finally got rotten.'

'Yes, I am positive we'll make a loss this quarter.'

"Our marketing budget has become a black hole."

'I re-invested what was left of my 401K into returnable pop cans. I figure by the time I retire I should have about three dollars.'

Coronavirus and Atlas

'Our 401(k) is now a 201(k).'

'What a great day! I spent the morning burning bridges and the afternoon putting out fires!'

Life on Earth - Why bother?

"They say you're a miracle worker, so I'm wondering if you could part my sea of red ink?"