Managerial Thinker Gifts

"It's unfortunate that we have to cut back on frontline workers, but what else can we do?"

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Now that I have your attention...'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

Employee won't think about work outside of box

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Catch tennis balls in the mouth." — Me

"We need a best practice swim lane to leverage our core competency, move the needle outside the box, and open the kimono while keeping our ducks in a row. Can anyone give me a sustainable solution to more vertical effectiveness without getting too granula

'I want you to paddle against the current.'

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

"Is it just a scary coincidence that the words 'changes' and 'unknown' both have 7 letters?"

"You're a genius, Shaw. This is an idea whose copyright has expired."

'Do you want to tell them their department is being downsized again, or should I?'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

"Serendipity is not a strategy."

"He's his own worst enemy."

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

Our Two Parties, Explained

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

US v.s. Tech Giants

"I'm Jackson, your new micro-manager."

'My door is always open. That's why I installed a tripwire.'

Target your customer.

'Our job will be to drag the competition down to our level.'

'Maybe we should sign him before the MVP award is announced.'

"Weather like this plagued my retreat from Moscow."

'I'd like to explain my ideas for economy within the company.'

Not thinking BIG enough: Nickel & Dime Bank.

'Could we finish these negotiations via e-mail? That will allow me to think before I respond to your proposals.'

Jack and Ina build their dream house.

'Look, can't we just build the damn thing next to the quarry?'

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'