Managerial Hopeful Gifts

'You really want that promotion, don't you, Sherman?'

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

'He followed me home, Mom. Can I sign him to a five-year, $80-million contract?..'

'I'd like to be one of those people who sets targets for other people.'

"The new boss might seem severe, but he won't bite your head off!"

"Don't get your hopes up, Filby."

"Well, if I can't get an increase based on merit, how about one based on the cost of living beyond my means?"

"Boss, I'm more than just a cashier and mopper-upper guy."

"Shouldn't be long before we're at the top."

'I know you're going to inherit the throne from your father, but I want you to go to medical school just in case.'

'Sorry, no roles for you yet, Madam Caterpillar,'

"I enjoyed your request for a raise. I've seldom read a more aspirational document."

'We are looking for highly motivated, confident decisions makers for headships. Is your son such a man, Mrs Smikins?'

"I agree you're due for a raise, and when you leave my office, you'll still be due for a raise!"

"You think I can be an assistant manager?"

'Instead of being just like Michael Jordan, I wanna be just like Barack.'

'I'd like to be all I can be!' - Recruitment Centre

'One day you'll be able to 'sack' a football manager.'

'Thanks for coming in. We'll get back to you as soon as we lower our expectations.'

"Would you explain to your son that there's no free agency in T-ball?"

"Does anyone know where the Leadership class is?"

Job interview.

"Someday I'll hire lots of smart people to work for me."

'What will I bring to the company? The fanatical commitment of sheer desperation!'

"Well I, for one, find comfort in your God-like leadership."

"I've been traded to another HMO for an orthopedist to be named later."

"Look dude, if you like a girl...you gotta move fast!"

"Some day I'll be president of the United States."

'You're at that awkward age, Danforth, still thinking of promotion.'

"These are the people I hate dealing with...buried in debt unsure about their futures, no hopes or prospects."

'Actually, this is a step up. I was an unpaid intern.'

'I just hope this doesn't jeopardize my political career.'

"When I first planned my retirement it was an ocean going 7 berth yacht with jacuzzi and helipad..."

'I don't mind failing as long as I'm well paid.'