Management Theory Buff Pillows

"The thing is, I'm just not a micromanager."

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

'My door is always open. That's why I installed a tripwire.'

'I tried that approach once, but my employees seized the carrots and attacked me with sticks.'

The little engine that could delegate.

'Remember, my door is always open Higgins, just be careful of the trap door.'

Subordinate Employee

The little engine that delegated

Leadership Training

"I'm Kurt... this brochure will explain the rest."

'He refused to climb the ladder without a safety net.'

"Does 14 followers on Twitter count as 'leadership experience'?"

'It's important that I see eye-to-eye with any consultants we bring in.'

"Your employees have lost faith in your ability to pretend to care about them."

"I have a list of downsides I'd like you to develop into a list of upsides."

'We've decided to upgrade your position with a new version 2.0 employee.'

"Our constantant surveillance indicates workers are becoming more paranoid."

"You have no idea how political this place is."

"Employee satisfaction is of utmost importance and I'm not leaving this chair till you are satisfied."

Company Structure - Boss and his yes men.

"This is Bernard, our new management consultant. He is going to be responsible for draining the lifeblood out of staff in a relentless attempt to reach increasingly unachievable and meaningless targets."

What is the difference between a boss and a leader?

Control in the workplace.

'Newgate, you'll be reporting to Cunningham, who'll be reporting directly to me. I, in one of those unexplainable paradoxes of the business world will be reporting to you,'

'The company is losing millions and the press are asking questions. Gentlemen,we're looking for a scapegoat.'

'When I talked about, 'fundamental changes to chore practices to align ourselves with a changing business environment', I was referring to more than you moving your desk closer to the window.'

"Then, at 3:45, you usher in a whole new era. I brought your flashlight."

"I've finally learned not to measure my worth by how many employees I have."

Think Big: 'It's too small!'

'Not a problem. Our industry is self-regulated. In fact, I'm scheduled to jump off the roof right after this meeting.'

"Success is buying your experience cheap and selling at a profit."

'You're not always right you know.'

Seriously Flawed Office.