Exploring Management Theories Pillows

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

'My door is always open. That's why I installed a tripwire.'

Not a surprise, coming from the new boss - who looks about 6 years old.

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

'I tried that approach once, but my employees seized the carrots and attacked me with sticks.'

"We had to lay off most of the staff to pay for the recruitment and training of new staff to replace the staff we laid off."

"What can we do about this leadership course,,," "I don't know,what do you think" "Isn't there anyone we could ask"

'He refused to climb the ladder without a safety net.'

"I have a list of downsides I'd like you to develop into a list of upsides."

"Our constantant surveillance indicates workers are becoming more paranoid."

"Your employees have lost faith in your ability to pretend to care about them."

'No, not your Uncle Sam. The Uncle Sam.'

'When I talked about, 'fundamental changes to chore practices to align ourselves with a changing business environment', I was referring to more than you moving your desk closer to the window.'

"All those in favor of saying 'It's a wrap' instead of 'Meeting adjourned' say 'Aye.' "

'Not a problem. Our industry is self-regulated. In fact, I'm scheduled to jump off the roof right after this meeting.'

"As you said, you're irreplaceable. That's why I've decided to give Jackson the promotion."

Seriously Flawed Office.

'It's is the feeling of this board that you are overdoing the 'lead by example' thing.'

'Sims, thought it was the data, but it's actually you that's flawed.'

"It's unfortunate that we have to cut back on frontline workers, but what else can we do?"

'Great idea Sir!'

'Liz, send someone in. My tip jar is empty.'

'We had to let go of some people.'

"I delegated all my responsibilities, now there's nothing left to do."

'Remember...if at first you don't succeed, hire a scapegoat and move on.'

"We need to reduce our staff without upsetting office morale. Hire some people to study the problem."

"Sometimes I think I'm a victim of the 'Peter principle', I reached my real competence level some time ago..."

"Here are the details for that project I wanted urgently which you have been chasing me for for months. It is in pencil as I am likely to change my mind again..."

"Jenkins, I've turned your job into customer self service."

Rising Tide of Consumer Indifference.

"Henderson, you're fast becoming irreplaceable around here. You're fired!"

"It's all business-to-business. We need some retail outlets."

'Yeah, I know he's a slacker...but I just gave him a bonus because he always looks like he's busy!'

"The thing is, I'm just not a micromanager."

"Tom, leadership is about MORE than wearing your 'I'm the boss of you' T-shirt."