
"I put a wet paint sign on our bench at the mall so we'll have a place to sit."
Kick off their shopping adventures with a mug that celebrates the mischievous mall marauder in them. Perfect for coffee or tea, it’s a humorous nod to their retail exploits.
"I put a wet paint sign on our bench at the mall so we'll have a place to sit."
The Commandos go shopping
"Can Olaf come out to pillage and plunder?"
'Now I know why the strategy guide warned against entering the 5th stage. Awesome!'
Remote Control Pirate Ship.
"I think the milk's off!"
"You go pillage. I can loot from here."
'Turn we women loose in the malls - that'll stimulate the economy.'
'There's more than one kind of deficit.'
I'm turning to the 'Duck' side!
'You're the first person to ask for a shopping hour in addition to a lunch hour.'
Welcome to the real world. What just happened? Where am I? The Mall. The Mall. We've been shopping – in person. Not the kind of shopping where you order things on your phone and have them sent to your house. this is the jungle! And you didn't last five minutes! You were laid out by some geezer hustling to the grocery section to get a special deal on prune juice! E-commerce has made you soft! I've got a scratch on my iPhone.
Mars Rover's wheels stolen.
I do all of my banking online now.
"Not a word, Doc! I'm having hot flashes!"
"If anyone comes asking for a small boy, I'll be in the toy department."
"Adverbs, adjectives, conjunctions, clauses...I'll never learn to speak English!"
Manuscripts.
'I'm from the exterminators, here to kill moths...Those devils, it's worse than I thought.'
"It's stuck in overdrive. What should I do?"
"Some of the guys are worried about your commitment to the whole marauding barbarian thing."
'While you were attempting to seize the day, our competition seized a big chunk of our business!'
Full moon brings out werewolf in prison cell
Crap Nav
"Oh wait, we need to be on the 1-9 North bound escalator to get to the food court."
'Ok, let me get this straight; your friend Kristyn is no longer coming to have supper with us because Danielle told you that Tracy heard from Holly that her sister Melissa thought she saw Kristyn in the mall talking to your old boyfriend?'
'You make a HELLUVA bowl of chili, Donna!!'
"O.K., one at a time, step forward and say, 'That's it, lady - you've blocked your last escalator.' "
'What are you trying to do...blow our cover?!! Take off that mask!'
"I know you people are a bunch of incurable optimists, but I think this financial report is the cure for that."
'Bugs ain't nothin', kid - just wait till you swallow a BUZZARD!'
'Our guest has asked that we obscure his identity.'
Mall rat. Rug rat.
Shopping nightmare
"I don’t get it - we had all those meetings."
Find pillows that humorously highlight the mall marauder in your life, adding comfort and personality to their space.
Explore art prints that capture the lively spirit of retail mischief with creative and humorous designs.
Browse our collection of witty t-shirts that showcase the fun and mischief of shopping adventurers.