Major League Baseball Prints

'I warned them. I said, if you allow one fan to scatter the ashes of loved ones, it's just going to open the floodgates.'

Ahhh, spring baseball.

'Tex here will teach you all how to spit.'

Vendor selling testosterone.

'I think maybe they should move opening day until it's warmer.'

A possessive pitcher.

'To the only thing that matters - BASEBALL!'

No Baseball

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

Church for sports worshipers.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

What McWit lacks in speed he gains in nose.

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"I was sent down to the minors and from there to Europe, and one thing just led to another."

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

"I AM at my usual position."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

High-gravity baseball

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

I think this interleague play is getting out of hand.

'Oh, and this ringtone is an app that alerts me when a fly ball is headed my way.'

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

350 Feet.