Magic Pillows

'You have just one more wish. Are you sure you want another belly-rub?'

'And now over to Mrs Miggins for our financial forecasts...'

"I mean, I can throw it a third time."

'It wasn't any good for spells but it makes a great jacuzzi!'

"Is there a doctor in the house, and more importantly, another magician?"

"You look tired. Have you been sawing another woman?"

"In the hat! In the hat!"

And that's why I'm still single!

"If you don't have any small children, you can substitute mushrooms."

"Hi, its me, I'm on the broom"

"I don't know whether to be mad that you had water this whole time or impressed with your commitment to the joke."

"This is your final wish. Are you sure you want another roll of toilet paper?"

"I'm getting too old for a broom."

"Daddy doesn't know any magic tricks. Daddy knows accounting tricks."

"But, can you help me quit smoking?"

'A large Swiss Pharmaceuticals company has expressed serious interest in my potion.'

Snow Globe Fortune Teller

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

"Three wishes? Dream on. That was in the heady days before venture capital and advertising revenue disappeared."

'Come in, come in, we;re eager to hear your market predictions!'

'To enable them to provide the service we require the procurement team have submitted a request for seven wands, a crystal ball and a time machine...'

'My secret is putting the toil in first and adding the trouble just as it comes to a boil.'

'When you awaken you will feel fresh and relaxed with absolutely no memory of changing my lightbulbs.'

'We have one or two reservations about your application to adopt.'

"Ulrich, that's bad science and you know it!"

'When I clap my wings you will jump up and start acting like a hypnotist...'

Houdini.

"The FDA didn't approve the use of eye of newt."

'I'm so proud to be part of a profession that has never discriminated against women.'

'...Your eyes are getting heavy...Very,very heavy...WHOA! NOT THAT HEAVY!!'

Ramon was a polished performer, but this was madness. . . A square peg in a round hole, unassisted, and blindfolded!!

'Well, doc, I still have that pain in my back. . .'

'Doctor, are you certain this is an approved surgical technique?'

"And, just to be on the safe side, tongue of attorney."

'Oh great. Now the FDA is regulating safety coated caplets of eyes of newt.'