Magic Buffs T-Shirts

'We're cutting back, so I can only grant you a whim'

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

Knight Golfing

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

Missing You.

"Our focus group will butcher your focus group."

"To begin with, I would like to express my sincere thanks and deep appreciation for the opportunity to meet with you. While there are still profound differences between us, I think the very fact of my presence here today is a major breakthrough."

"Frank, I want you to try antidepressants."

"Oh look Pharaoh a miniature replica of your final resting place."

"Say! While I'm off in the Holy Land, why don't you find a little crusade of some kind that interests you?"

"Very few people are aware that the 'New York Times' Sunday crossword puzzle is contagious."

Knights of the Square Table.

"You fools! That's not the boiling oil, that's my beef casserole!"

Two gamers play in a game arcade near a machine titled; 'Get a life'.

"Never gonna give thou up -- Never gonna let thou down -- Never gonna run around and desert thouuuuuu."

'You can't recuse yourself from a war!'

Hysterically laughing monster.

'McWit, I'd like to talk to you about your blood classification system.'

'The wife says if I don't give up snooker, she's leaving me. . .I'm going to miss her.'

"With a little luck he'll be a benevolent teenager."

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

"This is the first time you've ever planned a moat, I'm guessing?"

"You never know what will catch on!"

'I hate to tell you this, but there was a hole in my pocket, and I lost the budget surplus.'

Newton discovers surrealism

A dragon has eaten my knight, please help.

"I'm sorry, sir, but a blade's a blade."

Knight Vision

Scheduel.

"We both agreed that for a while she'd slay the dragons and I'd look after the castle."

'Someday one of us will look back on this and laugh.'