Lyricist In Training Gifts

"Stuart – would you like to come up and rap some Tennyson for us."

A hurricane recites a nursery rhyme.

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

'I don't know much about history, don't know much biology ... but we'll be OK if there's a round on song lyrics.'

Jeff Tweedy caricature.

Blues artis's daily list

"I always thought love made the world go round."

Fuzz - Fuzzy writes a song with a positive message.

Fuzz - Fuzzy writes a song with something missing.

Jim Morrison Goes Camping

It's from the homeowners association --- They want me to stop leaving my worries on the doorstep.

"This next song I wrote I won't sing due to political correctness."

I'm a songbird. He's my lyricist.

Nick Cave

"Yes, 'the lion sleeps tonight', I know the tune, but it means it's had a good feed during the day, which is not really a good thing..."

Tragedy! When the feeling's gone and you can't go on.

Olden Day Battle of the Bands (Bard vs Sonnet).

'Cole Porter has the lyrics checked'

'Man, I'm age 21 now and so far, I haven't done anything important. Things can't go on like this or I will have to forget my plan to become rich and famous by writing my autobiography at age 35!'

"I'm stuck for the 'June-moon' rhyme in Serbo-Croatian."

"I feel that what would really give your next album a major boost would be some kind of well-publicized personal problem."

Vasiliy Lebedev-Kumach

"Great moments in songwriting" "What if she had a little lamb?" "Maybe it follows her to school?" "Wouldn't that make the children laugh?" "Exactly."

"Well, we've for the melody down now, but I'm still not sure about the part where it goes, '...and they call the wind Dorcas Schnickelbaum.'"

Old songs made new

Cupid

'This one writes some fine lyrics, and the other one has composed some beautiful music, but they just done't seem to hit it off as collaborators.'

'This next one I wrote myself. It's about pain, misery and heartbreak, until I finally wised up and dumped him.'

"Moon….June Croon….Loon… …Tycoon"

Noel Coward

'I wouldn't have agreed to let you write your own wedding vows if I knew you were just going to copy the lyrics to Margaritaville!'

"Yeah, most people are surprised when they learn I'm actually a lyricist."

"I don't do spells. I'm a wizard at deciphering rap lyrics."