Lyric Chuckler Prints

Lady sees door sign next to ENT: 'Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes'.

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

"The subwoofers really help."

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

'He hasn't responded to training - he still insists on taking Alec to his slippers....'

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

The Big Four debate banking ethics

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

"Isn't this just a repeat of his 1332 Christmas special."

'Step One...a pie chart is not dessert.'

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

'Everyone's a stand-up comic these days.'

'You've all been whining a lot lately, so this week's sermon is from the 'Book of Lamentations'....'

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

"Or was it: 'Bubble, bubble, TOIL and trouble?'"

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

'Bless you!'

'Does the suicide clause apply if he eats himself to death?'

"I keep getting into a flap."

'Time's up, chuckles.'

Yoga - moooooooo.

J-J-JOE'S B-B-BAR, 'Actually, Joe's done pretty well for a guy with a speech impediment.'

"Actually, I got my nickname because I live in a loft."

"I just talked to Grunzman on the phone when he called in sick...I fear he really has got something very, very highly contagious!"

'Hey - I was in line first! There you go again...messing up the pecking order!'

What your acoustic guitar says about you

Is it true that all cats are free thinkers? Yeah, we can't stand dogma.

"I've found it the easiest way to administer nose drops!"