Loyal Customer Mugs

"No matter the weather or what's on my plate, I'm here at five. That's discipline."

I feel like a loser. I've been working at this cafe two decades. I'm suffering inertia, boredom. What kind of imbecile would spend decades in this pit of despair? You'd have to be a complete failure of a human being. Oh, here's your coffee and frequent-buyer card. Congrats, you've reached the 20-year premium membership. Fellow loser. I saw it coming and let you have it, loser!

"I'm devastated, my favorite fast-food place cheated on me."

"We figured it would be you, Larry."

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

"Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

"I remember him before he was getting hte winter fuel allowance."

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

'Don't worry, Alice. I won't leave you.'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

Elvis fan holding a sign reading 'NOT MY KING'.

"Who do you like in the super bowl?"

Personal Assistants.

SERMONS 'R' US - everything for the clergy.

"Cheer up, Simon. . . I'm always here for you!"

Best friends without borders.

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

"I'm supposed to be loyal, relieve stress, be 'Man's best friend'...I don't need this kind of pressure!"

a new hire signing a loyalty oath

"For goodness sake, stop this daily whining! She's just gone to work, she'll be back tonight! Get a grip!"

"All the way from the new home in Rye just so she can sniff our old doorman."

'Mr. Bigmeister likes to start each meeting with the pledge of allegiance.'

"I'm sorry your team lost - perhaps you should have rooted for the other team."

Football addict

"I hate to break it to you, but you weren't his best friend."

'While we appreciate company loyalty, Larson, you should really be in the hospital.'

So you're wearing a bag over your head because you're ashamed of your team?' 'It's a cloaking device.'

"Must that dog follow you everywhere?"

"I'm so grateful to play for this fantastic club....a childhood dream come true!"

'I want someone who'll not just take the firms line, but the hook and sinker, too.'

'We're still crazy then ...'