Glasses half full, half empty, half assed.
Low-key Philosopher T-Shirts
Explore t-shirts designed for the thoughtful, the introspective, and the quietly witty. Perfect for low-key philosophers who like to keep their humor subtle but meaningful.
If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.
'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'
"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."
"Feel free to take notes."
"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"
Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)
'I know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about the bears and the bulls.'
Pigeon Little
'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'
Playdough's The Republic
For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...
'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'
I'm not good with names but never forget a face. Of course, that's not very useful right now.
A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.
'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'
"....But then I find myself saying, what if there isn't more to life than this?"
Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'
'This test doesn't understand me.'
Reverse psychology
The dangerous world of the armchair thinker
"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."
"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."
I think I can, I think I can ... therefore I think I am...
"Colin kept the bar fairly low."
'Actually, I don't get out much. I spend most of my time alone, writing lyrical novels celebrating nature and the interconnectedness of all living things!'
"I just haven't been feeling very omnipotent lately."
"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"
"I should've never studied canon law."
'I've been told before that I'm very mature for a three year old.'
"Mommy, watch, I'm living authentically!"
"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."
Gifts from the House of Low Goals.
"Remember, we're the next generation so try not to blow it."
A young positivist.
Low-key Philosopher T-Shirts Collection
Low-key Philosopher Mugs
Browse our mugs collection for the perfect low-key philosopher gift—clever, subtle, and ideal for enjoying a reflective moment with a warm beverage.
Low-key Philosopher Pillows
Discover pillows that combine comfort with wit, great for the gentle philosophers who love a cozy, contemplative space.
Low-key Philosopher Prints
Explore prints that capture the essence of thoughtful pondering and subtle humor—great for decorating the space of any low-key philosopher.