Low-budget Diner T-Shirts

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

"Would you like to see the markup?"

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

'The customer is always right...'

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"I read that meat can remain undigested in one's intestines for five years...."

'I knew we should have brought your Marigolds, dear!'

"It's natural, vegan organic, no additives, preservatives or cooking."

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

"My apologies, but that's not a meatball. That's my computer mouse. I've been looking for it."

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

'Would you care for a drink while your food is being defrosted?'

Woman in Restaurant has Menu and Calorie Counter.

Man eating his meal with his feet.

'Waiter...!' (there is a human in my soup)

'And for the Queen of Whiny Eaters, two pieces of bologna, cut into quarter-inch squares, coated with Abe's Barbecue Sauce...'

'I don't leave until I've heard all 25 songs.'

'If that is a toenail, it is a French toenail.'

'I'm afraid things are rather confused around here today, sir- the Soup of the Day is a grilled-cheese sandwich'

"Dinner looks delicious."

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

Road Kill Cafe.

Restaurant: Come & Get It! Bland Cuisine - 'Just plain food, good, but nothing fancy.'

Sorry, that's probably one of mine.

"There's a free pudding for whoever finds the Chef's glass eye."

"There are no animal products in our dishes, but since the meals are prepared by animals, you may find some stray hairs."

Menu.

'I'm impressed at your choice sir, you certainly know your budget wines.'

Todays Special: Beans on Toast #2.50 (use of tin-opener 10- extra. . .)