Low-battery Survivor T-Shirts

"I'll go, but only if you promise we won't stay long."

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"You've got those Stuck-in-the-Subway-Listening-to-a-Guy-Massacre-Dylan Blues."

'I hate playing in an inflatable dome during a power outage.'

"The trees are laughing at us."

"Before someone says anything, yes, it was a long winter."

'We're in a hurry.'

"For years after Vietnam, I woke up screaming about the cold weather in Toronto."

"Thanks for the offer... but I'd rather see if tech support can get my computer running."

'How do you like the new cubicle?' - 'Can I have my old office back please.'

Self-Assembly Bookcase

"Help me! I'm trapped. In a dead end job."

"It just doesn't seem right. Ever since the new system upgrade nothing is where it used to be!"

"Whatever the politicians might decide, I'm well prepared because I've got enough hate comments for the next five years!"

'I'm looking for a romantic tale of wild, unbridled passion I can read while being pushed and groped on the subway.'

Stranded Techie Needs Batteries

'Dewey is a cowboy's cowboy!'

"The thing with tiny kitchens is it's all about stacking, patience and resenting all your previous life choices."

'I'm switching to another provider,dear.'

Range Anxiety

"Boy, in the cold light of day it's really freaking cold!"

'Stay warm last night?'

You know it's a really bad winter when. . .

A holiday maker greets a castaway

'I said, now I know why they call you 'Lucky'!'

Tell Santa What You Want. ... And tell your goof-off elves that last year they forgot the batteries!

If you're reading this, your sat nav system has failed.

'How can a person meditate with that racket going on?'

Man following advice on preventing sea-sickness but becoming sea-sick anyway

Subway rider holds onto man's tie.

'Thank you for calling the Coast Guard help line. To sink, press one. To swim, press two…'

'When this is over with, I'm going to need a LOT of aromatherapy!'

Man sees 'Back to the Eighties' poster, says "OMD!"

"So that must be the guy from Tech Support."

"After being lost in the desert for days, I'd think your first request would be for water, not a phone charger."