Loving Sacrificer Mugs

"I'm not doing this because I like it. I'm doing this because I love you."

Dragon and Dragoff

Pre-Historic Gentleman's Duel

You're the olive in my martini

Next Time-Portal 5 Miles...

'The knights are drawing closer'

'I don't think we're devoted to the Lord. I think we're devoted to dessert.'

Cloud Cuckoo Land, "Earnest's invite had lied about there being a live band"

"It's badly sprained, McElroy, and you know as well as I do that I'd only slow you down. Go on without me—and that's a direct order!"

A monk illustrates a manuscript with emojis

"Holy Mackerel!"

'One day son, all this will be yours!'

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

'And there he was shouting: 'A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse!'... I thought to myself: Why not...'

Actually, I slayed it for the castle's resale value, but don't tell her that.

"He may be Sven the Slayer to you, but to me he's still Mr Cuddly Bun!"

Avoiding eternal damnation since 1982

"Ground score!"

Retrospection.

"Jim had to know what happens when you turn off your computer while it's updating."

'What's this I hear about you running against me?'

Saguaro Cacti.

John Wycliffe

"Have a safe trip!"

'Be wary, my Liege, Arthur wants a round table.'

"Call it vanity, call it narcissism, call it egomania. I love you."

"I saw your ad on the dating site, ma'am! You're looking for an old-fashioned man, aren't you?"

You had me at succulents!

"It's my life line in case the rapture happens, so I'm not left behind."

Liberty's Sacrifice

'Every Lent it's the same-I've nothing to give up!'

'He's at a family reunion down in the dungeon.'

Doze: the magazine for slumber enthusiasts

I'm thinking of skipping the holidays this year, in protest. Very good, little buddy. I see you've read chapter 7 of "Randy 'The Rock' Taylor's Guide to Winning Respect." "Become an admirable person by sacrificing something meaningful to you, in order to help others achieve something meaningful to them." I'm very proud of you, young grasshopper. I'm protesting the fact that I can't shop at H&M on Thanksgiving 'cause they'll be closed.

'Sire, the peasants say you're just using them.'