Lovestruck Patient Prints

"Well the good news is that it doesn't appear to be contagious."

'Hey,come on SIMON, DON'T go all shy now. It's not everyday you get the chance to meet your favourite Footballer in the flesh...'

We regret to inform you that your poem, "The Ramen," does not meet our publishing needs at this time. The short, frustrating career of Edgar Allan Typoe.

"Can you check inside it for me, Mister?"

'I say we try it.'

Man and woman

A thief steals a heart

Lord of the Rings: Two Towels

The Critic...

Melanie Griffith

Shop assistant falling in love with a customer

Golfers lost on the road

'Hollywood pharmacy: 'Thank you! Have a paparazzi - filled day!'

Valentine's day...The good news is that I don't think it's contagious.

John the Baptist was clothed in camels hair and eight locusts.

"Wow, fishing sure is fun. I can't believe I caught such a big fish my first time out."

"You mean you blame your failure in life on not having won the Irish Sweepstakes in 1970?"

"Your new book, 'Help - My Head's Caught in a Pipe,' has been called by some to be semi-autobiographical. Can you comment on these rumors?"

The Best of Times/The Worst of Times

The White Whale Mounted On The Wall

'There are limits to this seriousness, sir!'

Lark Ascending

Snake Charmer

"Have I told you about the time I buried my head in the sand and struck oil?"

Did you know you move your lips when you read?

TUNNEL OF LOVE, Niagara Falls, NY

"I was let go."

Mark Wahlberg

Cupid Shoots His Arrow.

"Sorry, Pembroke, but Telford here is lavishly illustrated."

"Finally a bit of good luck..."

'Oh yes... and I'll want one for the wife as well.'

Andrew Garfield

Man Locked in a Heart

May I see you again sometime?