Lovers Of The Written Word T-Shirts

"You won't believe this, Bert. I think I've got a children's book in me."

"Meet The Author"

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

First Novels.

The Dorrie Decimal System

"Now I really hate poetry."

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Voltaire

Blue Stockings

'He likes to power nap.'

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

John Bunyan

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

1847 - Bram Stoker, creator of Dracula was born in Dublin.

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

"I'm in a catch-23 situation."

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'

Don Quixote

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

George Orwell

'You have to Marvell eh - 'annihalating all that's made to a green thought in a green shade.''

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

"Author does not do tricks."

"Oh, this old thing?"

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

Sue the Author 3PM

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"