Lovers Of Family Dynamics Pillows

'Your mother most certainly may not come over for dinner! -- That would be the first step towards normalizing relations!'

I like the Jets...I guess

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"Truth is relative at these reunions. It depends on which relative you talk to."

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"Mum, Dad, I think I might be bipedal."

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

'It's funny really - when your father's home he hardly ever says a word!'

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

'I'm very confused. I never had a father. I was raised by two mummies.'

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk - it's hard to believe we're related.'

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

"Do let me know if I'm getting in the way, won't you?"

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

"Oh, you silly girl, you! Don't tell me you brought home another husband."

"We're looking forward to this little bundle of joy bringing out the worst in each of us."

Brilliance runs in my family, but in a zig-zag pattern.

"It's easy to understand the theory of evolution when you have a brother!"

"Mom, are you going to properly vet the baby before you bring her home from the hospital?"

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

Black and white penguins with gray and black and white child.

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

"It's from the children. They'd like us to let them in."

'Male, 38, still living with his parents. They asked us to keep him overnight, so they could change the locks.'

'I didn't hear you calling. I can't listen to everybody who yells at me.'

"Act your birth order!"

'Life if so much simpler since we called Family Ref.'

'I try to run my family like a democracy, but what I really need is a line-item veto.'

'I used to think it was her red dress, but I've discovered I find your mother irritating in any color.'

Mom's Diner - Thanks for not talking about your father.

"Seventy-seven. How about yours."

'Grandparents! This time last year I wasn't good enough to marry your daughter, but now I've fathered the brightest child in the universe!'

"The kids - Prince Englebert and Princess Felicia - would like us to move into the olde monarchs' home."