Lover Of Satirical Comics Pillows

"I'm sure that he will become a perfect union functionary."

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

Maybe there's something to this global warming after all.

Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"

Minority Report

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

'In the computer simulation he said he admired my candor and gave me a raise.'

"Maybe our beloved founder is trying to tell us something."

What do you say we team up to star in a sequel to "The Elephant Man" called "The Wolverine Boy"? !

Bureaucracy gone mad!

'Probably giving evidence at some sort of industrial tribunal....heh!'

"Call me selfish if you want, but I have no issue with spoiling the farmer's Christmas lunch: I'm out of here..."

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

Supermarket Warehouse. At night, with just security here, the products sing classic karaoke. The orange juice is belting Elvis'"All Shook Up." Peanut butter and jelly performed a duet of "Love Will Keep Us Together." children's breakfast cereal sang "Sugar, Sugar." And sriracha sauce did a rendition of "Great Balls of Fire"! What song will the ground beef choose? Jimmy Buffett's "Cheeseburger in Paradise," of course!

The Notre Dame Five Year Restoration Plan Swing Into Action.

"I was forced into early retirement. Is that even legal?"

The Modern Damocles -

"Is this your bright idea, Janet?"

'It's not the same. I was caught stealing office supplies. You, on the other hand, got caught stealing ideas.'

Focus Group Failures

The Unknown Philosopher, who first realised life is no picnic.

"No offence Jon, but..."

"Eeeeek!!! My okay to this one night stand must have been faked by Cambridge Analytica!!"

"Are you sure? It doesn't look like a diet pill!"

Bureau of Missing Door Knobs

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

"I'm a huge fan of your work."

'Margaret our phone's been tapped!'

Knights of the Round Whatever

ENNUI...(smiley face).

How Moms explain.

A Failiure to Communicate

A guy who learned everything he needed to know in Kindergarten.