Lover Of Medical Jokes Prints

'Well, at least we were able to remove that pesky hangnail. So, you have to be pretty stoked about that."

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

Happy Birthday to you.

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

'The doctor says he's going to have to give you a few more tests...'

'We'll need to run some preliminary tests to see if you're healthy enough for more invasive follow-up tests.'

Operating Room Humor. Why are anesthesiologists assumed to be honest? Because numb-ers don't lie!

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

"She keeps getting a stitch in her side."

"Gross."

'Time for your pills.'

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

'Long shift?'

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

'Quick, do a background search and see if this doctor passed his boards!'

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

Brian surgeon squeezing brains from a tube.

'Restless Peg Syndrome.'

"Turn your head and cough."

Why you shouldn't date an anesthesiologist.

'The doctor will be with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

There's Nothing Worse Than A Staff Infection

'You can tell your grandkids, you rode the most expensive vehicle on Earth!'

Wait a minute…What operating system are you using?… Common techie question.

'Take two and call me from the Emergency room.'

'I think we should cut back on the tranquilizers.'