Lover Of Lazy Weekends Pillows

'This has got to be a Monday.'

"I AM at my usual position."

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

"I'm having a pajama day."

"Fetch me another Sculpin IPA."

Dribbling and snoring - proof that men can multi-task.

'No, I am not finished with the comics section, now give me back my glasses!'

'My husband likes to have everything handy during TV commercials.'

Relaxing on a sofa

'Well, the marriage guidance counsellor advised us to share each others interests, didn't she?'

'I load on the job all the time so I figure it's not really 'earned' income.'

"Okay, you play dead. 1-2-3 Go!"

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

Fetch the Boomerang

Reserved Parking

"Ed's not really into binge watching...he just can't find the remote."

The Lackadaisical Dog Walker

"Can you believe it? A couple of page-turners, one affair, and, wham - it's Labor Day."

"What'll it be ... scary movies or scary news?"

'You can't imagine how happy we are to find a vet who makes house calls!'

'I'll count to ten thousand: Go and hide...'

'Wakey-Wakey... Rise and shine!'

"When you said this was our Forever Home, did you mean we'd be forever home?"

"That's enough exercise for one day."

Home theatre.

"Just in case I'm in danger of doing something. . . I'm going to take a cat nap."

"Wow, you sleep up to 18 hours a day! Me too!"

Attention: Due to a lack of interest we have dropped the APATHY channel - Sorry for any inconvenience.

'Are you sure sitting on a bean bag chair isn't considered getting a daily requirement of vegetables?'

'He always breaks away from the Church on Sunday mornings.'

'At least I'm not accused of being envious, lustful, greedy, prideful, gluttonous or wrathful.'

New Season on the TV / New Season on the sofa

"Where can we get such a thing? We would lie on the couch all day and watch cartoons about cats."

"Would you please bring the endangered species here a drink?"

I love a lazy Sunday. What do we have planned, Dear? Just the usual. Oh yes. What time shall we do it? How about now? Sounds good. I'm ready. One, two, three … You kids get off my lawn! Now let's snuggle. We're not even on your lawn! Quit sassin'!