Love Storytellers Pillows

"Can you tell me the story again about how you swiped right on Dad?"

Cupid Misfires.

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

Mom, there's a simple explanation for this...Aliens from outer space.

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

Pastries and Candy

'Are we there yet?'

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

'Ha! Ha! The Wooin' O't!'

Noah's life jacket demonstration

'He was a great writer'

"What did Jesus order?"

'Next, time, we'll meet at my place.'

Man takes picutre of other man holding up huge worm at Bait Shop.

Jorge Luis Borges

Tristan Und Isolde

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

'Sigh! So that's what love is all about...'

"So you're just now tellin' me I was hatched from an egg and I coulda' left years ago?!?"

Cat scratches on a pirate's wooden leg.

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

'Now that's what I call a really old tree!'

'New hope for dysfunctional couples: Read aloud the complete works of Trollope.'

Having moved to a tablet, the farmer's wife was done with mice. . .

"Honestly, I thought you were a metaphor."

'Tell me about your gap year, Mr, Van Winkle,'

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

Catch and release dating.

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

"Yes, I'm sure of my 3 wishes - I wish I had a pen, I wish I had paper to write a 'rescue me' note, and I wish I had a bottle to send it in"