Love Oracle T-Shirts

They call me the Groundhog of Love. Romantically speaking, I can bring you an early spring. But if you see my shadow, you can expect six weeks of stalking.

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

Wikipedia...

Barman In Love.

A sentimental woman talking to her lover on a ship

"You are going to have lots of puppies."

Real Estate Personals

The Authentic Christmas.

'The only certainties in life are birth, death, taxes, and stock market uncertainty.'

Tasty.

"When you said you like to experiment in the bedroom..."

The End of the Property Boom is Nigh.

"Sometime I find it hard to believe that we found each other through regular channels."

"My aloofness is a mask."

Hipster Police Department

'Yes. No. Sometimes. No. No. Yes. Don't know. Sometimes. Yes. Mo.'

"Look, hon, I know both of our schedules have been crazy, but I still think we should take time out to consummate our marriage."

'Guide us, oh Webmaster.'

"The Great Source keeps afloat, along with a little help from the sharks there."

Wait

'Love and marriage?- I'm afraid I can't help you much with that, young fellow.'

'We've been happily married for five years, but we've been married for eight.'

Tunnel of Life and Love

"I've had many men in this town darling, but many men have not had me."

"You have no idea how refreshing it is to meet someone raffish in West Hartford."

'Looks like the gods are angry.'

'An expert is one who knows tomorrow why the things he said yesterday didn't happen today.'

"Marry me, Virginia. My genes are excellent and, as yet, unpatented."

"I'm looling for ground beef that's organic, non-GMO, and doesn't contain meat."

"And after I'm through with this, I'll show you the exciting array of other body-piercing services we're now offering!"

'He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, who cares...'

"Will you still love me when I outearn you?"

'Get lost. Can't you see I'm with someone?'

Echoes - 'Hellooooo'.