Love Experimenter T-Shirts

'That's very sweet of you, Professor Grossmertz, but love is only a theory.'

'Is this river good for fish?' - 'Yes, so good the refuse to leave it.'

Sexual chemistry set

'My serotonin levels have maxed-out, my brain is awash in glucocoriticoids and, if it weren't for my leveling endogenous opiates, I'd float out that window!'

A sentimental woman talking to her lover on a ship

'We're looking for people who like to take work home.'

Real Estate Personals

Macho Vegetarian

'You had me at 'C - R C = (2 x S X).'

"Sometime I find it hard to believe that we found each other through regular channels."

"My aloofness is a mask."

Human Flesh Eaters: A Romance Comedy.

"Now give me something intimate to say."

'Love and marriage?- I'm afraid I can't help you much with that, young fellow.'

Tunnel of Life and Love

"That's the worst pickup line I've ever heard!"

Sometimes in a relationship a person just needs some space.

"I've had many men in this town darling, but many men have not had me."

"I just feel like we're not connecting."

'We've been happily married for five years, but we've been married for eight.'

"You have no idea how refreshing it is to meet someone raffish in West Hartford."

"Okay, I'm intrigued."

"Boys meet the girls. Girls meet the boys. . ."

'You want to become a vegan?... Well okay, but you do realise there'll be nothing lower than you on the food chain?'

'Were you playing footsie with me?'

"We can't go on meeting like this, I'm practically broke."

"She's an enigma wrapped in a mystery wrapped in a bear onesie."

'I'll need four character references.'

How scientists propose

"Your hair is chaotic, but you're really quite together."

"I've decided to let you work from home, as long as you move in here and pay me rent."

"I could see my mating dance had caught her eye, so I put more energy into it, but I ended up sweaty and out of breath: she lost interest then. . ."