Love Contract Negotiator T-Shirts

"Before I consent to being your Valentine you'll have to agree to these terms and conditions."

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

"I do. Have your people contact my people to hammer out the details."

"Sophia, will you agree to form a joint exploratory committee for marriage?"

" A lot of it is just legal mumbo-jumbo."

"I'll agree to a pre-nup if you'll agree to a non-compete clause."

'Our relationship would be perfect if it wasn't for you!'

It's a deal. You give me five analysts, three pundits, seven technicians and a soothsayer. I give you six experts, five professors, four consultants and a prognosticator.

'He followed me home, Mom. Can I sign him to a five-year, $80-million contract?..'

Overdraft limit.

'In conclusion; our major contract expires tomorrow, we have no idea what we want, and no knowledge of the market, It is time to pass this across to the Procurement Team...'

'It must be a risky proposal... legal is running it by their lawyers.'

"What're you doing? Your contract forbids you from watching 'cute baby video' on YouTube."

Cat to second cat: 'I need you to sign a pre-nap.'

"What happened to the good old days when people just breached contracts?'

"I'll abandon my medium-and shorter-range missiles if you'll abandon yours."

'A ground ball to deep short, handled beautifully by Santana...'

'Hang on!...You don't expect me to swallow that as well!'

"Goes to show ou can't please all of the people all of the time!"

Sports Lawyers

Perhaps a ceasefire is in order. Terms? I will agree not to pummel you for forgetting our anniversary. You will refrain from pursuing the possibility that I, too, have forgotten it. You will, furthermore, massage my feet in penance for denying me a reason to yell at you. Non-negotiable! Got off easy.

"Sign the contract first kid, then you get the sweets!"

"I'm ready. Are you ready? Let the billing begin!"

"At least have the decency to send her a text to tell her you're not interested."

Big Deal/Done Deal.

'YOU'RE the hostile - takeover group!?'

Sports Agency. In my work as a sports agent, I told this athlete she needs to improve if she wants to be well-known. Ironically, in diving you become famous by not making a splash! I got this marathon competitor a sponsorship so he can focus on training. He's going to take the money and run! This sprinter will earn a bonus if he sets a record. Oh, going after some fast money! And I made this guy agree to give me an extra slice of his pay if I negotiated a great contract for him which I di

'I think we should also agree not to go to sleep horny.'

'Darling what will you give me for this ring?'

"You must be a computer geek, because I've never had anyone ask me to accept their 'Terms of Use' before a date."

"Could you please refer to this as a merger rather than being in cahoots?"

'Our lawyer insists on it as part of our due diligence provision.'

"No, no. The contract I signed was of the non-binding kind."

"It's a pretty standard contract - just sign here below, ' ... and hung by the neck until dead.'"

"I appreciate you keeping up with the vernacular of the times, but please refrain from referring to the billion-dollar restructuring as 'The Dealio'."