Lounge Philosopher Mugs

'I don't teach mine about the Bill of Rights any more -- it makes them too unruly.'

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

Victoria's pre-marriage questionnaire continues...'Can I get input from the guys at the bar on this one?'

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

'I trust these equations settle the argument, Professor Lang. It's your round.'

"You don't whisper anymore."

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

Men gossiping

Ask not for whom happy hour ends. It ends for thee.

"If it's a series of patterned clicks, I'm not here."

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

Hello, this is Cable News. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. As you know, we only have four short years until the next presidential election. So it's time to start asking: Who should run? Whom do you prefer? (A) Al Gore … (B) John Kerry … (C) Marco Rubio … (D) Ted Cruz ... (E) Christ Christie ... House of Java Cybercafe. How about (F) You? Mr. Eugene Yu is actually (T).

"Every night the same gets legless, swearin 'n' fightin' then slumps into a stupor. . ."

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

ONE HORSE TOWN

"Well, he looks alive as of 10 minutes ago, but the stream is frozen."

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

Brickie's Mate

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

"So that's where you were last night."

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

'Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine... LAST!'

If bar stools were like playground swings...