Lotto Mugs

'It's just too much for him, poor love!'

"Ooh, that reminds me. I must remember to put my lottery numbers on."

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

'I don't like to take chances.'

"Every night the same gets legless, swearin 'n' fightin' then slumps into a stupor. . ."

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

Why do you hate the media?

"Well, it's been nice. And obviously the £10 million win hasn't change you. . . . A mug of tea an' a couple garibaldies - as tight as ever!"

'Do you have one with the number 401k? under the law averages, it's bound to be winner.'

'Floppo' lottery rebranding

The president of a company see a sign: While you were out we hit the lottery!

'I'm sorry, Bob, it wasn't you who won the mega-pool. It was Helen in accounting.' (to man mooning boss).

Lottery - come back to eat here 20 times and you will win million dollar in lottery.

"Have you been scratching this?"

Destination casinos...

Highlights for Adults

'Having the money tree has really helped out.'

'Long term I like energy and transportation stocks. Short term I like lottery tickets.'

Comparing lottery odds with bus punctuality.

"It's lotto fever."

"What lucky stranger's hitting the jackpot tonight?"

"I've invented the wheel. We're going to be rich."

Eurozone leaders reach consensus. . .

'Congratulations! You've just won ten million dollars!'

Happy Meals for Grown Ups

'So glad we ticked the no publicity box.'

'This should be good. He just won the lottery!'

SMALL BUSINESS LOANS, 'Your business plan seems to depend on winning a lot of state lotteries....'

'Of course, it's marvellous news! Absolutely marvellous! My Word! A national lottery winner! Wonderful stroke of luck!'

"You mean you blame your failure in life on not having won the Irish Sweepstakes in 1970?"

"The good news is, my son is a potential winner, bad news, I'm still buying his lottery tickets."

Your Winning Lottery Numbers Told: 'If they are really what you say - how come you can only afford a tent?'