Lottery Hopefuls T-Shirts

"Gosh, now we could afford to go into farming..."

New York Lottery Jackpot: Go to the head of any gas line, with police escort.

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

'There will be no raises this year since the state now has a lottery.'

"Life's a lottery - That's why you need balls"

"Every night the same gets legless, swearin 'n' fightin' then slumps into a stupor. . ."

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"Well, it's been nice. And obviously the £10 million win hasn't change you. . . . A mug of tea an' a couple garibaldies - as tight as ever!"

Why do you hate the media?

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

'Floppo' lottery rebranding

The president of a company see a sign: While you were out we hit the lottery!

'I'm sorry, Bob, it wasn't you who won the mega-pool. It was Helen in accounting.' (to man mooning boss).

Highlights for Adults

Lottery - come back to eat here 20 times and you will win million dollar in lottery.

"Have you been scratching this?"

'Having the money tree has really helped out.'

'Long term I like energy and transportation stocks. Short term I like lottery tickets.'

Comparing lottery odds with bus punctuality.

"What lucky stranger's hitting the jackpot tonight?"

"It's lotto fever."

'This should be good. He just won the lottery!'

Happy Meals for Grown Ups

'So glad we ticked the no publicity box.'

Eurozone leaders reach consensus. . .

'Congratulations! You've just won ten million dollars!'

"Oh boy! I've won the- "

SMALL BUSINESS LOANS, 'Your business plan seems to depend on winning a lot of state lotteries....'

"I just hit the lottery for a million bucks, so today I'm going to punch that timeclock for the last time."

"Baldo, check it out...it's advice for people who've won the lottery."

'Of course, it's marvellous news! Absolutely marvellous! My Word! A national lottery winner! Wonderful stroke of luck!'

"The good news is, my son is a potential winner, bad news, I'm still buying his lottery tickets."

"Where's the NHS money coming from? Well, I've decided that we will invest £10,000 a week into Euro lottery tickets..."