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"Has anyone turned in a chicken?"

Nancy Drew Mysteries - The Later Years

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

'Did anyone hand in a mature stilton last week?'

"My husband is missing. I haven't seen him since he started wearing camouflage clothes."

'You know, it's kind of nice turning off the sound, turning on closed caption, and listening to piano music.'

'It's too wet for walkies and I can't find my boots!'

'You're not supposed to block off an area to look for your contact lens.'

'I seem to be on the range but 'home' is proving illusive.'

Bureau of Missing Persons

'I'm willing to relocate.'

"Do you think solitude drives you insane?"

Last Chance for Saturated Fats Next 200 Mi.

Directions.

The farmer says one of his cows are missing, mind if we take a look around

Dead animal toupee.

'Used to be 'Rock around the Clock', now is it 'Limp Around the Block'?'

'Next time, spring for a little more, and get a GOOD GPS'

'We need a new TV, Dad — it's stupid watching 'Reading Rainbow' in black and white.'

Cave couple watching a cave painting TV while in bed.

Heat Wave Podium

The cops figured it was an inside job. Or an outside job.

"Mittens found it! It was stuck in the sofa."

'Mom, Dad. . . remember that day you sent me to law school and I got lost?'

'It's from the bloke on the other island. It reads; Help. I'm stranded on a desert island.'

Queen Victoria at Osborne Bay.

You Are Here...X...& YOU Are Lost.

'Robinson Crusoe discovers Friday's mobile'

'Say 'Nessage in a gottle.' one more time and I'm putting you back in your box.'

The Grim Peeper.

"Oh, now you want to talk, when all week it was 'Do Not Disturb.'"

"I can't find my stupid phone, so leave a message..."