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The five stages of good grief

"Don't worry, dear, we'll find your wedding ring."

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

Spa

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

Danger Slow Sand.

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

Sales chart plummets into employees head.

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

As a rule, all surprise parties start out with good intentions.

'You seem rather ungrateful Mr. Jenkins. This new drug means you'll never have hayfever again.'

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

I.O.U. one pot of gold.

Saline Drip Sommelier.

"I'm sorry, Chuckles. We had to remove your funny bone."

"Friends have been scribbling on my cast."

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

"Yeah, my life flashed before my eyes!...OK, it was food - all the food I've ever eaten flashed before my eyes."

"The doctor was more lucid today! That's a good sign!"

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

"I know. I miss him, too."

"Because you're a mechanic, we're going to do your hydrotherapy in a car pool."

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

"Call me a taxi if I start foaming at the mouth."

'The food here isn't too bad, just try not to swallow !'

'Ignore them, Charlie. They're nothing but philistines. I liked your poetry, truly I did!'

"I'm sure he'll pull through. He's always been a real fighter."

Man watches sales chart drop through the floor.

"We're doing everything we can to make him comfortable, short of dressing up as male doctors."

'That's where they keep all the money I don't have anymore.'