Loss Of Spouse Prints

Widow shows a portrait of herself

Hello again, Marlene...they're letting me commute."

'He said he was going shopping for my birthday present...A few house later a policeman came and told me that a dumpster lid fell on him...'

"It made him very happy to know that he was going to die before you could get here."

"I'm having trouble summoning your deceased wife."

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

'He was a great writer'

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

'What - no internet? No USB ports? No socket for the coffee machine? No phone? Are you crazy? My husband was a very important CEO!'

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

"I always spend New Year's surrounded by loved ones."

'Yes, death signifies a cosmic change of address. Alas, your husband's mail will not be forwarded.'

"We laughed. We cried. But mostly we watched TV."

Setting out the bedding plants was one of his few remaining pleasures,

"I know you've been together a long time, but I'm sorry... Your microbiome can't follow you in."

'Your uncle donated his brain to Harvard and, unfortunately, they used it to figure out a way to get the rest of his money.'

'Would you like the ECG tracing of your father's death? It's the least we can do.'

"I feel terrible admitting this, but I'm sort of glad he's dead. One less thing to keep track of."

Postcards from Heaven...

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'

'He doesn't talk to me anymore.'

'Grief counselling'

"So, Gilbert was your friend who fought in Vietnam?"

John Ixon: Ran Out of Survival Tips.

Cemetery: Communicated with your loved one see Madam Zolta within.

"What? Too soon?"

"The family has spent all week crafting a beautiful service of words and pictures - far too sentimental to be of practical use."

"And now, let us view sitcom star Donnie J. Kroft's reading of his will, which was videotaped before a live studio audience."

"Sorry, wrong room."

"You'll be able to talk to your husband. I have video conferencing."

"I'm afraid Larry sleeps with more than just the fishes."

Here lies BoBo the Clown

"We got him onto an exercise bike, but I'm afraid it was too late."

"Although the estate will be distributed equally, your father wanted you all to know that Keith was his favorite, followed by..."