Long-standing Grudge Resolution Pillows

'Dave, you've been angry at me for twenty years. Can we talk?'

Trump Administration Raising White Flag in Ukraine

"Nice epic battle between good and evil!"

"We hope seeing a marriage counselor maybe could make one of us less stubborn!"

Time for tea and friendship.

"It's always the same: We go eons without seeing each other, I think I'm finally over it, and then...WHAM! I get pulled into her orbit again!"

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

Trilby - 'Oh my poor girl! my poor girl!'

'Are we us or them?'

"I forgive you, Bumpty."

Middle East Peace Process.

"What would happen if you put down your weapon and tried to work things out peacefully?"

Heart is sewn back together.

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

'You're so illogical. I can never win an argument with you.'

'Apparently Wednesday is early conciliation day.'

'Remember, he who laughs last, gets fired first.'

Very sorry

"Some days I really wish I had finished med school. Not that I ever started med school."

Ask Sadie is back. You're on, caller. What's your problem? My wife finally answered my emails. She wants me back. She says she's sorry she left me for her personal trainer. She said making mad, passionate love to him has become unfulfilling. She said she's tired of the excitement, tired of his fancy house, tired of the lavish trips around the world, and tired of him not snoring like a jackhammer, like I always do. Let go and move on, you ninny!!! She said she's especially tired of his ability to

"Honey, it’s no use. We’ve done everything to try to save the divorce — I think we’re going to have to stay married."

"Nice try, but I'm still angry."

"It's amazing. We've just met, but I feel like we've known each other since we were kids, became high school sweethearts, got married too young, had a bunch of brats, went through a messy divorce, reconciled, remarried each other, and are now back together after all these years."

"Could I get a single perfect olive branch?"

"Is this what happens when management fails to deal with a passive aggressive member of staff..?"

"So...were they open to negotiations?"

'Hey! - Do I have to separate you two?'

'V. K. Duvine and Prodigal Son (if he comes back)

'You're spoiling for a fight, aren't you?'

"You came back!"

The Politically Correct Brain

'We're reconciled-thanks to the Lottery rollover!'

"S this is how you settle out of court."

"Is it me, or does the old man still look angry at us for denting his Cadillac?"