Loneliness Humorist Pillows

'Stop acting lonelier-than-thou.'

"My email is down... talk to me."

Daffodil bulbs

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

'Maybe we should talk to him more, Malcolm.'

'Vacuums!'

Desert Planet

"Listen, the first pterodactyl of spring."

"These are smart socks. They will crawl themselves to the clothes hamper when you throw them on the floor. Make sure they're charged before wearing them."

"I #*#*#* hate gardening, I'd much rather be at work!!"

Surreal Ale Pub.

'Sorry son, I bought you an ice-cream at the corner shop, but it melted on the way home...'

"Do you think solitude drives you insane?"

Just Survived My 3rd COVID Scare Dance.

'Oh no, they're back!'

The Side Effect of Self-Awareness

Shelf-Isolation

'Any idea where my night vision visor is?'

Narcissus

Counsellor for man on desert island

'Will you be dining alone tonight, Sir?'

"Dude, don't say it..."

Train Arrivals

"I've forgotten your face but I remember your mask."

'I told you that nobody would show up.'

"Or, is it the perfect beach day because there's no one here to p*** us off?"

I was bitten by a radioactive bedbug – My superpower is getting a solid eight hours of sleep every night. Wow. So lucky.

'Do you realize that you have several passages of scripture right on the tip of your tongue?'

'Dear diary, went to the beach again today.'

"Ok, I've made it. Now I need love."

When I went in they were discussing Tina Turner.

Light Switch

'It was the menu in this pub that drove me to drink...'

Daybreak at bulb camp

'Last Chance for a Nice Chat'