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"We had time on our wings just when they need drivers. I see no flaw in this plan at all!"

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

Quality Control

The Uber Ride of Paul Revere

Santa knows he has to be more careful. One more accident due to pilot error, and the FAA would take away his pilot's license for good.

'The best part is being able to fly without taking off your shoes.'

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

"Here's an idea, Ham, go get one of the elephants and bring it down this end."

A Semicolon.

Cow Pilot.

"There is no air conditioning in the luggage compartment so stand up straight and stop licking your nose!"

'Here comes the in-flight meal.'

'Catching lunch again Steward?'

Bunny express,

Straddling bus stop above a regular bus stop.

'Captain, a passenger says there's a gremlin out on the wing of the plane.'

Airbus

"A sad incident at LaGuardia Airport today as a depressed 757 landed and burst into tears."

"In the event of a water landing, your seat cushions may be used as flotation devices. And, your tray tables may be used to bash sharks."

' ... and that's a policy giving you flight insurance covering mid-air bankruptcies.'

A horse and cart metamorphosing into a snail.

Birds talk about flying...we land in the Hudson all the time - no big deal.

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

'I always ask for a seat in the tail. You never hear of a plane backing into a mountain...'

'I went to wash the wheels on that European Airbus A380 by myself. I didn't know it had 22 wheels.'

The FS-2004 has a great new add-on!

'Your $5 gets your 3 minutes in the lavatory--now how much toilet paper would you like to purchase?'

'Next time the captain says to turn off your cell phone, just do it!'

'You imbecile!! Didn't i tell you to watch our altitude?! / A co-pilot accidentally flies too high ending up in heaven and smacking into an angel

"Our flight's been diverted to Frankfurt - but remember, it is better to travel than to arrive."

The Rev. Wright Brothers

'Whatever you do, do not turn off your cell phone. It's the only thing powering the plane right now!'

'Seen from the air we spell 'Yankee, go home'.'

'You say that you'd hate to be up there in a plane? I'd hate to be there without one!'

I'm sorry, sir, the body scanner doesn't work at the moment. Would you please undress and lie down here?'