Locum Nurse Pillows

'We've got a locum to work part-time, unfortunately it's not the part she spends here!'

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

'Well, we're off for our xmas break - I'm sure you can manage without us for a couple of weeks.'

Locum GP's to be paid for extra work on the BMA agreement

"I came up through the ranks."

Disorderlies

"Well, that's right. It is a disco ball. The regular lamp is in the shop."

'I'm in the mood to cook!'

'Sometimes patients become a little attached.'

"She then bit into the poison apple, hoping it would fend off the hostile takeover."

'Mind that molar, careful of that canine...'

'When you perform the surgery, please don't remove any of my untapped potential.'

"Please point out the problem tooth."

Infant care worker is exhausted from sex injuries at hospital.

'I came into spray the plants and he fainted.'

'Morale soared when we installed the Nurf Basketball.'

Dentist Suction

'We only have rooms with real teeth left!'

"I'm from Doctors Without Offices."

'This is going to hurt, I'm afraid. . .I can't afford to pay.'

'Here are Mister Fernbush's new dentures...his mouth is a bit large, so try not to stare!'

'Two cavities, that's not so bad. But I only have three teeth'

Dental hygienists are also translators.

'We'd love to pay staff more, but there's just no money! But you've got dozens of empty posts, why can't you use the money saved to pay better rates?'

"Mom is an ER nurse."

"Careful...she bites."

Mother telling off quarreling children

'But toothache is the worst!'

Clean underwear for sale.

"I blame the nurses."